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Where's My Teeth? Billy Joel Splits from Wife Katie Lee – Are You Really Surprised?
June 20, 2009 – If there ever was a mismatched pair, physically and intellectually, it was Billy Joel and his young wife Katie Lee. Now comes word of the inevitable, the couple are splitting up.
Their Oprah interview a few years ago was impossible to watch in a “Stepford Wives” creepy kind of way. Billy’s young little prize made Mary Hart’s perkiness seem positively dull. Here was Billy Joel, a music superstar, who had a reputation for telling it like it is, he never suffered fools and he was married to someone more annoying than Celine Dion on a good day. What gives? To make things worse in front of millions of viewers Katie tried to make us believe that she never knew who Billy Joel was or heard any of his songs before they met. Either way she came off like an idiot with that statement. Was she culturally inept? Remember Joel has the 6th biggest selling album of all time, or was Katie just out-right lying and digging for gold and fame. The latter is the theme of most of the internet chat rooms today. It is reported however that the couple had set up a pre-nuptial agreement.
The whole thing has been a mess from the start, Joel is 60 and Katie Lee is only 27. What was a gorgeous young thing like that doing with a guy who looked like a Buick? . More |
Where’s My Teeth? Will Sara Evans Turn into a Soap Opera Again?
June 17, 2009 – They say “Like attracts like.” Remember when Sara Evans was on Dancing with the Stars a few seasons ago and she was stung by the Jerry Springer-deep-vacuous-hole-of-emotional-need-flu? Was it a coincidence that Springer was also competing that season? It was crazy-town Kodak stuff. Sara’s then husband, Craig Schelske, was accused of being a sexaholic, two-timing rat-bastard and poor Sara told the gory tale to anyone who would listen.
Maybe blabbing all over town even helped her career, maybe she thought of that long before I did. Maybe she didn’t come out of that looking as bad as her crazy-buns ex but something about her opportunistic behaviour made me suspicious of her Martha-everybody persona. For a person who was claiming to be protecting her kids through this tsunami divorce she sure was making sure they’d hear every juicy morsel from her either first or second hand. I always say you can tell a lot about a person by how they break up.
Evans is now married to former University of Alabama quarterback Jay Barker and her soap opera past may be a distant memory. More |
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Where’s My Teeth?Who Will Have Stronger Career Kris Allen, Adam Lambert or Danny Gokey?
May 26, 2009 – Up until the finale of this year’s American Idol I had a renewed faith that the show was a singing competition again but Adam Lambert, clearly the better singer did not win. Though his Goth looks threw me off at times and that “cat on your back” show-off wail reminded me of why Celine Dion and I do not mix. More
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Where's My Teeth?: Can We Please Vote Paula Abdul Off American Idol?
May 7, 2009 – Paula Abdul waited seven seasons on American Idol to remind the world that even though she judges a singing competition it’s always better to lip-synch your way through a tune. Many Idol fans on-line are calling Abdul a hypocrite today after her obvious lip-synched performance last night on the show. More
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Where's My Teeth?: Killers Blame Led Zeppelin and Nirvana for Lack of World Domination
May 1, 2009 – Brandon Flowers of the Killers figures his band would be much bigger if Led Zeppelin and Nirvana never existed. In fact he told NME.com he’d like to knock both bands “off their pedestals.” Yeah, good luck with that. Let’s see Brandon, Zeppelin had changed the face of Rock music forever and had broken up long before you were even born. More |
Where’s My Teeth? Britain's Got Talent Creates Unlikely Star – Susan Boyle
April 18, 2009 – A week ago Susan Boyle was just an unemployed charity worker living alone with her cat Pebbles in Blackburn, West Lothian. The 47 year old is now the most talked about singer on the planet after her historic audition on the ITV1 reality show `Britain's Got Talent.' More |
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Where's My Teeth?: Billy Bob Thornton: A lesson in the “Perfect Storm” of Lunacy
April 16, 2009 – Chances are, if you come up to anybody and asked them about Billy Bob Thornton’s music career they would say “What Duh, you mean Billy Bob the actor?” That’s exactly how I reacted at first. I like Thornton, the actor; ‘Bad Santa’ is one of my all time favourite movies. More |
Where's My Teeth? Is Perez Hilton a Music Dork? Blogger Calls Heidi Montag’s New Tune a “Hit”
April 3, 2009 – I like Perez Hilton’s blog; he knows how to stick it to "media vultures" even though he may be a media whore himself. His war on Avril Lavigne is infamous but this passive aggressive media queen may have overstepped just a bit, well, a lot. This week, he called Heidi Montag’s new song a “Hit.” Perez, are you experimenting with aerosol? This tune is “Rico Suave” bad, it makes “Barbie Girl” sound like “Hey Jude.”More |
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Retro Review: Bruce Hornsby-Spirit Trail (double CD) BMG Records - released October, 1998
Oct. 16, 1998 - No one could ever accuse Hornsby of not paying attention. Every lyric on 'Spirit Trail,' his sixth album, describes his unquenchable thirst to understand what were all doing here. Stripped down, his lyric sheets look more like realistic views on sociology than anything that should be shoved in a jewel box. In an era where most artists have problems believing what they sing, Hornsby is very much real.
From the albums opening Bluesy pick-me-up, 'King Of The Hill,' a look at an insecure 'big fish in a small pond' to an old mans regrets in spite of his health and wealth on 'Fortunate Son,' Hornsby delivers his best in years. More
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Retro Review: Bruce Hornsby - Here Come The Noise Makers - RCA - released October, 2000
Oct. 20, 2000 - Some people remember where they were when JFK was shot, I prefer to recall cherished introductions to songs that changed my life.
Those classic moments are etched in all our brains, maybe it's hearing a poignant lyric that just puts the pieces together when your at a crossroads or a new sound that expands your idea of what music should sound like.
In 1986, Bruce Hornsby touched me on both counts with 'The Way It is' an innocent uncorrupted view of racism down south that brought the piano back to the Pop charts. More |
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Retro Review: Linda Ronstadt - The Very Best Of - Elektra/WEA
Sept. 24, 2002 - In high school my best buddy John Scott could never understand how I, a rocker, preferred Barbra Streisand over Linda Ronstadt. Our typical teenaged angst played out via rapturous arguing sessions on who was technically the better singer. For me, Streisand the quintessential seventies diva, won hands down when it came to crescendo's and unlike Ronstadt, didn't have a penchant for covering fifties doo-wop songs. Neither wrote their own tunes, with the exception of a rare co-write credit here or there. More |
Where’s My Teeth? - Thanks for Lip Synching at the Oscars Beyonce – That was Awesome!
Feb. 24, 2009 – Does anybody sing live anymore? I like Beyonce; she saves me money on primal scream therapy. When Etta James went all crazy-mars-bars on her a few weeks ago it almost made me take Beyonce’s side. The former Destiny’s Child member sang James’ famous signature song ‘At Last’ at President Obama’s inauguration, and after James’ crazy-train reaction Beyonce never really responded. More |
Where’s My Teeth? – The Grammys - All Live? My Ass!
February 15, 2009 – Just because someone tells you something doesn’t make it true. We’ve learned that, right? It’s especially true on TV. I remember Kelsey Grammer laughing at his own network, NBC, in 2004 as both his series, ‘Fraiser,’ and ‘Friends’ were winding down with big finales. The peacock network were proclaiming Friends as, "the best comedy ever," to which Grammer said, "I don't blame them for saying that, although we all know it's not true." More
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Where’s My Teeth? Jennifer Hudson Should Have Said ‘No’ to Cheating at Super Bowl
Feb. 5, 2009 – So many people are forgiving Jennifer Hudson for lip-synching at last Sunday’s Super Bowl. After all, she lived through the tragic loss of three family members being killed in October – something most people never get over.
Hudson has always come off like an underdog, a person, we could relate to. She has amazing talent but always lets other people say that. More |
Where’s My Teeth? Led Zeppelin Reunion, Non-Story of 2008, Now Lets Talk Dirt
Jan. 7, 2009 – Would 2008 have been any better if Robert Plant just played along? Maybe if he stopped thinking about himself for a minute and gave us what we wanted we’d be looking forward to 2009 just a tad more. After all, with half of Americans losing their savings there’s a possibility we’ll all look as unkept as Plant and Page did in the seventies anyway. More |
Where’s My Teeth? Lennon Memory Whored Out, Even if It’s for a Good Cause
Dec. 27, 2008 – Let’s see, when I die I’d like my much younger wife to get a new big ass computer and recreate my image to sell ‘Kelly Ripa ‘Crazy Eyes Special Over-Acting Makeup’ or maybe I could endorse Ashlee Simpson’s latest “Nail in the Eardrum” album. Or, maybe not. More |
Where's My Teeth? - Grammy’s Make Me Feel Old
Dec. 5, 2008 – I remember when the Grammy’s meant something to me. When I actually cheered in front of the TV when someone, I cared about, won a trophy. Last year I endured a pretentious Alicia Keys singing with a very dead Frank Sinatra and Beyonce, who I barely consider an actual musician, trying to make the Tina Turner tribute all about her. More |
Jethro Tull Sticking to the Classics on 40th Anniversary Tour
Nov. 26, 2008 – Ian Anderson has promised fans a jolt of the best in the Jethro Tull discography for their 40th anniversary tour and so far fan reception in Europe has been amazing. Henrik Stubgaard, our correspondent in Denmark was happy with the variety of the show in Herning, Denmark on Nov. 19th. More |
Eagles - Long Road Out of Eden
October 26, 2007 - I, like most, go back a long way with the Eagles. As a teenager when there were only 10 albums in my collection two of those were Eagles LP's. The Eagles quota for most of us former bell-bottom, mullet-top, crotch rockers in the seventies was pretty good. More |
Mariah Carey - E=MC2 - Nothin' but "Big Bad Ear-Wax"
May 3, 2008 - There is a constant vehicle in marketing and sales that simply encourages the pitch to decipher what makes the product better than anyone else’s. What makes you different? Sometimes the product speaks for itself; others have to argue their point. Mariah Carey has had an advantage for years via her multi octave voice. More |
Eagles - The Very Best of the Eagles (2 CD set)
Dec. 1, 2003 - I had the pleasure of interviewing former Eagle Randy Meisner a couple of years ago and found a guilty pleasure in digging for dirt. There have been a few books detailing early versions of the band incorporating all the typical rock n' roll clichés' - too much booze, drugs and young women. More |
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Retro Review: Linda Ronstadt - The Very Best of -Sept. 24, 2002 - In high school my best buddy John Scott could never understand how I, a rocker, preferred Barbra Streisand over Linda Ronstadt. |
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Retro Review: Bruce Hornsby - Spirit Trail- Oct. 16, 1998 - No one could ever accuse Hornsby of not paying attention. Every lyric on 'Spirit Trail,' his sixth album, describes his unquenchable thirst to understand what were all doing here. |
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