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Where's My Teeth?: Can We Please Vote Paula Abdul Off American Idol?
May 7, 2009 – Paula Abdul waited seven seasons on American Idol to remind the world that even though she judges a singing competition it’s always better to lip-synch your way through a tune. Many Idol fans on-line are calling Abdul a hypocrite today after her obvious lip-synched performance last night on the show. I’m not sure why she even wore a microphone.
It was almost anti-climatic when Abdul admitted to Ladies’ Home Journal to being hooked on pain killers for 12 years (update: she now denies ever saying that). Girl, you’ve been quacking like that duck since the beginning of the show. Like a true addict, especially a high functioning one, the singer thought she was fooling everyone but we knew she was on something, either drunk or high and no one is surprised that she came out. Abdul did admit that she used medication a few years ago but this is the first time she admitted to having a problem.
In 2005 People magazine asked her point blank about drugs and she said, "Drugs? I'm not addicted to pills of any kind," I wonder if she was slurring her words when she said it?
Abdul claims this all started with a cheerleading accident when she was 17, then there was a stage accident in 1991, two years later a car crash and a plane crash in 1993.
Well, as they say, “like attracts like” because the pain she inflicted on me last night brought back flashbacks of Ashlee Simpson’s hillbilly moonwalk on SNL and if she’s in so much pain why is she dancing and how can she do that without pain killers now? For a person with so many injuries she’s easily the most animated character on the panel, always dancing and clapping behind her judge’s desk. Oh, wait, that was the drugs even though she claims never to have been high during any taping of the show. There’s more lunacy here than the Casey Anthony case.
Here’s the deal, I doubt if Paula has ever sung live and her computer generated ‘auto-tuning’ vocals were never that real. The girl has a paper thin voice. She is a dancer who has been riding the wave of one good tune, the catchy ‘Straight Up’ since 1989. Oh, she had other hits, six number one singles in the U.S. but none of the others have really stood the test of time. The problem with her new single, “I’m Just Here for the Music” is it reminds us of the latter.
As for live singing, Gwen Stefani of No Doubt showed the results of non-stop prancing as she huffed and puffed her way through “I’m Just a Girl' last night. At least she was being real, let’s hope Beyonce was watching.
Paula was obviously pushing her luck last night trying to legitimize her singing career. I just want to know what Simon thought of the whole mess! Now that would be good TV. – by John Beaudin
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